C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just cropdusted the office
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
