Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
