The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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