but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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