im drinking this country out of the recession.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
