i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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