Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
