I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
