i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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