So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
