It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize