Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Acid is not a monday night drug
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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