pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
