I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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