do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
