would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
birth control should be required to get into college
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Randomize
