No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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