i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
