So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I think I am morally bankrupt
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
