I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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