Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
