I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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