I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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