A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
