Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
