You really coming over, don't trick.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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