I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
