Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
