my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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