I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
