i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
