If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
