Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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