shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
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