how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
