She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
