There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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