That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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