i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
