Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize