how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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