K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
