Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Randomize
