Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
