Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
