'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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