I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
