I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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