Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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