Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
