Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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