yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
