Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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