Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
