Pappa wants mamma naked
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
