You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
