no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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