I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
