his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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