so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize