I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize