Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
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