My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
