Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
