chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
