UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We had to coat check the pizza.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I believe in your delicious
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
