I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
