I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Randomize
