singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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