All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
