how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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