go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
