everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
