I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
