There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
