Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
