im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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