she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize